(it seems a lot like) Flesh Is All I Got
by the.future's.sold.out
Summary: Cat first spots Jade at the Valentine's Christmas party from across her living room and she's curious, curious, curious. Curious Cat, her mom used to call her. Cat-centric. Eventual Cade.
1. so deep that it didn't even bleed

Cat first spots Jade at the Valentine's Christmas party from across her living room and she's curious, curious, curious. With a huge smile plastered onto her 6 year old face, she marches over to the brunette through legs and legs of tall adults and introduces herself.

"What's your name?" Cat asks, watching the other girl play with the hem of her bright Red dress. Cat thinks the colour goes perfectly with the other girl's shoes and her earrings and her eyes and her everything.

"Jade," is the shy response told around her fingers.

"OK," Cat laughs, excitedly jumping on the spot, "You wanna come play with my Christmas present? It's only one doll, but I have more upstairs in my room."

Jade never removes her eyes from Cat and nods, a smile creeping onto her face.

"One sec, I have to tell my mom," Jade says and Cat follows her to where both of their mothers are chatting in the kitchen, both with glasses of wine in hand, both smiling down at their daughters.

Jade's mom has to crouch down so she can hear Jade quietly tell her of their plans. The woman nods and smiles at her daughter before Cat she pulls Jade away by the hand in the direction on the stairs. Neither girl hears the thankfulness in Mrs. West's voice when she tells Mrs. Valentine how worried she was that Jade would never make any friends.

And Cat draws Jade into her beautiful Candy and Lollipop world where nothing bad ever happens and they can play all day.

/

The West family moves in the next year to a bigger house, closer to the Valentine's, and the girls end up going to the same school, in the same class.

Then, quickly, Jade becomes an unavoidable factor in Cat's life. A factor that dictates how weekends and after school hours are spent. Always together.

/

When Cat's brother, Rubin, is only two years old and the girls are in the 7th grade, Cat's mom dies in a car accident.

Cat cries, cries, cries for a whole week until she almost drowns in her tears like Alice, but Jade throws open her bedroom door and saves her before she runs out of air. She hugs Cat and sleeps over for the two nights before the funeral.

At the funeral she holds Cat's hand and doesn't seem to mind when Cat can't cry anymore. Cat wishes she could. Really. But instead she looks at the ground through the ceremony.

Through the reception, she squeezes Jade's hand and doesn't let go when relatives hug her, awkward one armed hugs that force them to stare into Jade's sharp eyes over Cat's shoulder.

They eat paste-tasting sandwiches and sit holding Rubin for Cat's dad while he talks to cousins and aunts and uncles and grandparents and coworkers and friends for a couple hours.

It's decided that Jade will spend a third night at the Valentine's when Cat starts sobbing over Rubin's little sleeping face at their table in the corner of the reception hall.

/

Cat's dad takes her to a Special Doctor who talks her to for an hour every Tuesday night at 8 o'clock. The Doctor is worried for Cat, so she puts her on medication that calm her during the night and makes the bad dreams stay away.

/

Cat's Candy and Lollipop world is without sunshine for the next year and a half until Jade slips a brochure onto her desk for Hollywood Arts High School.

They go together to auditions, Cat's Concerned Father dropping them off, staring after them as they walk towards the doors.

While waiting, they fill out applications and sit along a wall. Cat slowly ties, unties, ties, unties her shoelaces, feeling like a heavy rock under the ocean. Then Jade slips her right hand into Cat's left and she feels herself start to rise to the surface.

They go in one after the other and Cat is told she's amazing by a man with crazy hair in a cardigan and the curly haired principle. They tell Jade the same thing and Cat excitedly calls her father to pick them up.

He smiles at them in the rearview mirror as they talk to each other over Rubin in his car seat, and he takes them to get ice cream.

He takes them to get ice cream again when they get their acceptance letters.

/

The summer before the 9th grade Cat dyes her hair Red after spontaneously buying a dozen red velvet cupcakes one afternoon while out with Rubin on a walk and they pass a little cafe a couple streets over from their house.

Jade had helped her, the girls squealing in the Valentine's upstairs bathroom the entire afternoon. While they waited on the dye to set, Cat finds some of her mom's old makeup under the sink. They go quiet until Jade takes the makeup bag from Cat's trebling fingers, asking her, "Do you want me to put it on you?"

Cat scrunches together her eyebrows. "No," she says, her voice hoarse. She doesn't want Jade to see her cry and then have all that makeup run down her face like how it happens in movies. Shaking away the image, she says without thought, "Let me put it on you."

"Are you sure? It was your mom's..."

"Yeah," Cat says, smiling at her friend, ignoring the tiny voice that tells her it isn't a good idea, "What else are we going to do for the next 20 minutes? Sit here."

Twenty minutes later, Jade has dark eyeliner circling her eyes, lipstick two shades too bright on her lips and the perfect amount of blush gracing her cheeks, and Cat has towel dried Red hair. They look at themselves in the mirror for a while, a little perplexed, but generally happy with the results.

The next time Cat sees Jade, a couple days later, the brunette has on makeup coming out of her house. And she's pretty, pretty, beautiful, and Cat tells herself over and over and over not to stare.

/

When high school starts Cat's overwhelmed and Jade is the only constant. She becomes a shining beacon for the redhead.

And Cat Falls In Love with the other girl; easier than math tests and science quizzes and english essays. So easy that Cat wonders how she hadn't before the 9th grade. Cat figures it has something to do with how little time they get together during the school day that kicked her into realizing it.

Cat's happy, happier, happiest in her new knowledge. Her Candy and Lollipop world gets an injection of this new reality, the colours more vibrant and the sugar more sweet. The world inside her head projects onto sidewalks and into classrooms. And Cat smiles, smiles, smiles until Jade quirks her lips up in response.

Cat loves Jade. She's sure of it. And she starts to think maybe Jade could Fall In Love with her too, but then she meets Beck.

* * *

**I'm trying a new style. I like it so far. This started out as a one shot that grew and grew until this happened. I like it so far.**


	2. shadows will scream that i'm alone

The injection of reality turns to poison and Cat watches her world rip gently at the seems. She turns corners and monsters wait for her, or she steps on a crack and convinces herself she broke her mother's back. The sky turns dark, dark, dark as if nearing a sundown.

She supposes her two classes with Jade weren't enough, because Beck has four classes with Jade. And Cat stares, stares, stares, but Jade doesn't turn her head from her conversation with the boy.

/

Cat's dad asks where Jade is one Saturday night and Cat says that she doesn't know as she helps Rubin put together a puzzle on the floor of the living room.

Except she does know. Jade's with Beck at the theatre. They've started dating.

/

Cat trains herself to stop thinking about Jade and to lock away her Candy and Lollipop world under her bed. Her Doctor thinks she's Going Through Something and puts her on these tiny green pills that make her toes itch and her hair grow so fast that she stays home from school the next Monday morning.

At least that's what she tells her Concerned Father before he leaves for work with a kiss on her forehead.

But before he gets home and after Cat spends the day sleeping, Jade shows up at the Valentine household with snacks.

They watch a movie in Cat's room, on her bed, under her covers, and Cat sweats because last week she had a dream the two of them were in a similar position. Minus the movie and minus their clothes.

But Cat's a Great Actor. Jade told her that herself. She even casted her as a lead in two of Jade's original plays at school. So Jade doesn't suspect that Cat suspects the world revolves because of the brunette.

When Jade leaves that night, she hesitates before pulling Cat into a hug, somehow sensing awkwardness even though Cat's a Great Actor.

The pink sheets of Cat's bed smell of Jade for the next week.

/

Cat's hope of being with Jade flickers like a dying candle when Jade and Beck break up, get back together, break up, get back together. It goes like that for the rest of the school year and into summer.

Cat feels grateful that she isn't the only one put off by the couple's relationship. She makes great friends with Robbie, Rex, and Andre. She hangs out with them sometimes and eats lunch with them and has classes with them. Their friendship is her saving grace when Jade is being too stupid and angry with Beck to even look at anyone, least of all Cat.

So Cat laughs, laughs, laughs with Andre, Rex, and Robbie during lunch while Beck and Jade glare at each other across the table and it almost makes her forget that her heart jumps when Jade's thigh grazes hers under the table.

/

Tori is the new addition to their Group the following September and Cat watches Jealous Jade watch Beck and Tori become friends. So Cat makes friends with Tori, but Jade doesn't care at all. This makes Cat's blood boil and slow down to glacial pace at the same time and she hates, hates, hates Jade! She scares herself with the hate and she cries that night on her bed because no, she loves Jade. She's sure of it.

She thinks about the Candy and Lollipop world stashed under her bed and about her mom before she goes downstairs to retrieve her medication for the night. She falls asleep thinking about her mom's light brown hair and without brushing her teeth.

/

Cat hangs out with Tori for the first time the next weekend. They bake spaghetti cake, a Valentine family recipe that Tori thinks she got off the internet. When they finish eating, Tori puts away their plates. She sits back down across from Cat and asks, "You seem like you're in a funk, Cat. Is something wrong?"

Cat looks at Tori with wide eyes. She likes Tori a lot. She's genuine and the Perfect Friend. Cat wonders at how Tori can ask if she's alright but Jade hasn't asked that question in months. She thinks it might have something to do with people thinking Jade is Scary and people thinking Tori is Friendly. But Jade is friendly. At least to Cat. Maybe Jade didn't ask because, because, because...

Cat puts her head down on the table - something she knows is probably bad manners - and mumbles back, "I don't know. I'm just not happy." Those words don't match Cat's mental state, but she can't think of any other way to word her feelings. Her head hurts. She feels Tori touch her hand in comfort.

"Hey! Maybe I could introduce you to my cousin Toby! He's really cute and I bet -"

"No!" Cat blurts out. She sits up, then stands up. She runs her hands over her face and takes a few breathes to steady her swaying figure. Tori is beautiful and wonderful and she likes all of Cat's jokes, but she doesn't understand.

"OK," Tori says calmly. It sounds final and she stands too, pulling Cat in the direction of the TV where they watch trash on MTV for the rest of the night.

/

Cat, Rex, and Robbie go see a talking animal movie after school one day. They buy tons of junk food and laugh, laugh, laugh at the film. When it's over and they're walking out of the theatre, Robbie spots Beck and Jade across the lobby and drags Cat over to them.

And it's awkward because Beck says something akin to a question if Cat and Robbie are at the theatre on a date and it flies over Robbie's head while he keeps talking. But Jade doesn't miss it.

She stares at Cat, who looks around like everything in more interesting than this conversation. And even after they continue on their way, she feels Jade's eyes on her.

/

One Saturday morning, Cat gets super determined and puts everything she owns that reminds her of Jade into a great big cardboard box. She shoves it under a pile of clothes in her closet.

* * *

**If you have a minute to review that would be awesome and much appreciated.**


	3. i caught myself

Cat doesn't hangout with anyone on the weekends for the next 6 weeks.

Her Concerned Father signed her and Rubin up for pottery classes. So every Saturday afternoon from 2-4, Cat drives them downtown where the put money into a meter for parking and walk into a tiny art store. The woman who owns the place is small with crazy hair that reminds Cat of a cartoon character's. She even talks as animatedly as a cartoon.

The pottery table that Cat works at spins, spins, spins and it mesmerizes her for 2 hours every week. She goes home with her brother and all through Saturday dinner and before bedtime she feels spun-out and unwound and content. Her father looks at her like he can see the calm in her through her eyes and he kisses her forehead goodnight without his usual Concerned glance back at her before he leaves the room.

On Sundays, Cat does her homework and watches Disney movies with her brother until bedtime, ignoring her phone the whole while.

/

The week after her pottery classes end, Jade shows up at 9 o'clock Saturday morning. Cat's dad lets her in because Cat is still sleeping. Cat doesn't have enough time to be anxious about the arrival before the taller girl slips quietly into her room, waking the redhead by sitting at the end of the bed.

"Your pottery classes are over, I asked your dad," Jade says without preamble, staring at Cat's eyes peaking out from under her pink comforter.

Cat swallows.

Jade rolls her eyes at Cat's unresponsiveness, and Cat hates her because, because, because-

"What happened to the photo of your mom?" Jade suddenly asks, eyes catching the frame missing from Cat's bedside table.

Cat put it in the box of Jade Stuff because her and Jade, both 10 years old, were in the photo, sitting on either side of her Mom. Cat stutters something about Rubin bumping into the side table and it shattering on the floor.

"You have carpeted floor," Jade deadpans, pointing to it.

Cat swallows.

"Wanna tell me why you've been avoiding me?" Jade asks. She looks mean and angry. Cat realizes, not for the first time, why people are intimidated by Scary Jade.

"I'm not avoiding you. I just can't talk to you," Cat says, curling her knees up to her chest under the blanket.

"What?" Jade snaps, confusion pulling her eyebrows together, "Why?"

"Because you make me sad because you make me happy," Cat blurts out, her words all tangled in her emotions. Her eyes widen in disbelief of herself. She pulls the covers over her head in humiliation.

It's quiet in the room after that. But Cat can hear her heart pounding in her ears. So stupid. Did those words actually just leave her mouth? Why did she say that? Oh my God. This must be a dream. She's still sleeping.

"Cat," Jade starts, Worry lacing the name.

Cat hates that. She hates people Worrying about her. Her father. Her Doctor. Tori. Not Jade. Please not Jade.

Cat observes the other girl, pulling the comforter down further this time. Jade is looking down at her hands.

Cat thinks about how their names are both words as well, so, typed, neither are ever automatically capitalized. She thinks about how she's never seen Jade hold Beck's hand. She thinks about how Jade looks when sitting in her desk at school, standing in line to buy lunch, and walking in front of her in the hallways at school. Then Cat thinks about Jade sitting here on her bed, in her room.

Cat sits up in the bed.

"Just-" Jade starts again, looking up at her. Cat can see exhaustion in her eyes. "Are you OK, Cat?"

Cat bites her lip. She doesn't want Jade to Worry about her. Because, because, because...

Cat leans forward on her hands and knees towards Jade and hesitates, meeting the other girl's widening eyes, before leaning in some more. She touches her lips to Jade's in a quick kiss, eyes fluttering closed for an instant, before sitting back, her cheeks flushed. She watches the other girl as she pulls her covers back up to her nose.

Jade is pale and blinking. She swallows and mumbles, "Oh."

She doesn't meet Cat's eyes when she stands and walks quickly out of the room. Cat hears the front door close and Jade's car squeal out of the drive way. Her Dad comes in a few minutes later and asks her if everything is ok.

Cat nods. She looks at her father, rubs her blood filled cheeks with her cold hands, and says, "Dad, I miss Mom."

He comes into the room and hugs her to his chest, kissing the top of her head over and over and over again. "I know," he says quietly, "I know."

/

She goes to school on Monday with sweaty palms and Tori tells her to look out for Jade, because she and Beck had broken up again Saturday night. Tori thinks Jade is Scary all the time. Cat thanks her, feeling light headed and clumsy with the knowledge.

Jade doesn't look at her through their second period class and Cat sits beside Andre for lunch, talking to him the whole while, scared to stop for fear of meeting Jade's eyes even though she sits on the other end of the table.

At the end of the day Rex, ever observant, asks Cat if something happened to Jade, claiming the girl to be more irritated than her usual post break up mood.

Cat says she doesn't know anything. But secretly, she suspects she knows what's bothering her.

* * *

**If you have a minute to review that would be much appreciated. Bonus points to whoever knows all the songs references I have used so far in this story in terms of titling.**


	4. i could pull the steering wheel

Jade and Beck stay broken up for a week, then two weeks, then a month, then a month and a half. It's strange at first, but after the third week it becomes a comfortable norm for the entire Group.

Jade doesn't talk to Cat, but sometimes the redhead catches her staring at her. She stares right back until Jade looks away.

/

One day, in the summer before the 11th grade, Cat shows up at Jade's house because she misses her best friend. She pauses before ringing the doorbell, nerves boiling in her stomach. Cat finally rings the bell after five minutes and Mrs. West opens the door, surprised to see her. She invites Cat inside and calls up the stairs to Jade before leaving the redhead alone in the foyer with a smile.

Cat looks up, over the banister on the second floor as Jade's bedroom door opens and the brunette walks out. She leans against the railing, staring down at Cat with narrowed eyes.

"Hi," is all Cat an manage, her tongue like sandpaper in her mouth.

"Hey," Jade answers.

"Um," Cat mumbles, then remembers what she brought, "I have hair dye with me, if you wanted to hangout and maybe help dye my hair..." She trails off.

Jade lifts an eyebrow. Cat notices it's pierced and stops herself from asking when that happened. She looks down at her feet and feels heavy from the weight of the conversation being thrown down onto her from the second floor.

"Jade," she starts after a deep breath, "Can I come up? Please?"

Jade tears her eyes away and says, "Yeah." She disappears into the bathroom beside her room and Cat scampers up the curved staircase in excitement. She's so excited that she almost misses the flush on Jade's cheeks as she lays out the dye on the counter.

She bought her usual crimson red dye, but she also brings out a black dye and shyly says, "I got this for you."

/

Twenty minutes later they stand much like they did years ago in front of a mirror, pleased with themselves. Jade now sports jet black hair and for the first time in months, they smile at each other and it's not weird or awkward.

Cat bids the taller girl goodnight a few hours later, after a frowning Mrs. West serves them dinner, and after they watch a movie together. Before leaving, Cat pulls Jade into a hug which she hesitantly returns. As Cat walks out the door, again she almost misses the blush on Jade's face.

/

Slowly, slowly, slowly, they become Friends again and by the end of July they're back to hanging out every other day. Cat is happy, happy, happier, but she thinks maybe Jade is happiest. They start to do things together they would usually do with the Group. The two don't even realize this until they start regularly running into the others while they hangout by themselves.

Like after they see a movie and Cat's convinced Jade to spend $10 on tokens so she can try to retrieve a stuffed elephant out of a claw game. Cat's used the 6th coin and is on her third attempt, Jade frowning beside her as she watches the game eat up her money, when Robbie appears.

"Hey, guys!" He says. He holds popcorn and a slushie, and sports a huge smile. Beck and Tori come up behind him and they say hi.

"Hi!" Cat exclaims, abandoning the game entirely to move closer to Jade. She reaches out to take some of Robbie's popcorn.

"What movie are you guys seeing?" Tori asks. Cat thinks she fits in perfectly in the theatre, as if she belongs on the screen, instead of sitting in the audience.

"We just saw Smurfs!" Cat says. She catches Beck raise an eyebrow and look at Jade. Cat swallows and glances at Jade quickly before she says, "It was great but I liked the original more."

Tori laughs and bumps Cat's hips with her own affectionately. Her phone rings and she steps aside to answer it with a frown on her face. Robbie asks Cat how her summer's going and she answers slowly because she's actually listening to Beck ask Jade how _her_ summer is. She ends up repeating most of what Jade says.

Tori puts away her phone after a few minutes, mumbling something about Trina and a chicken. She sighs and asks, "Shall we head in to get seats, boys?"

While they walk to get their tickets ripped, Cat stares at Jade watching Beck walk away. Cat quietly turns back to the machine that holds the elephant but before she can put in more coins, Jade does and in less than a minute Cat holds the toy in her hands. They leave the theatre, Cat with a beaming smile, both at the elephant and at Jade.

/

One night when Jade drops Cat off at her house, Cat says, without thinking, that Jade looked Beautiful all night. Jade's eyes widen at this and she laughs when Cat hurriedly fumbles her way out of the car.

An hour later she gets a text from Jade wishing her goodnight. And then another one 5 minutes later telling Cat that she's Beautiful as well.

/

It happens when they're on their way to meet Andre and Tori at the mall to get smoothies.

They're laughing at a Miley Cyrus interview with Ryan Seacrest on the radio when a truck slams into the driver's side door of the Valentine's car.

It's fast, fast, fast as the car skids around in a half circle and hits another car on the passenger's side, the action being the only thing that stops them from flipping over. The truck keeps going through the intersection, but Cat and Jade sit immobile in the middle of central LA rush hour traffic.

* * *

**Thank you, lovely readers, for reading. That was nice of you, I appreciate that. If you've got a minute to review, hey that would be awesome too, but I won't think anything less of you if you don't.**

**Sorry this chapter took a little longer than the others. I find with more time on my hands, I get less done.**


	5. just like a pill

When Cat wakes up Rubin is the first person who greets her. He climbs onto Cat's lap and she groans at the 6 year old's weight.

"She's awake!" he screams and she moves to cover her ears, except one arm is in a sling and the other has an IV tube taped to her wrist.

Her father comes rushing in, a man in a long white medical coat on his heels. Her father pulls her into a hug and holds her against his chest without a word as the doctor relays to Cat what has happened.

She was in an accident involving a drunk driver. She was in surgery to remove glass that shattered into the left side of her body, luckily her lungs weren't punctured like they had suspected but she had two broken ribs. Her left wrist and leg are broken and she suffered a concussion. She had been in the hospital for the last few days.

Her father breaths her in, and Rubin brushes hair out of her face with clumsy fingers. Cat focus' on his curly light brown hair and asks if the truck driver was ok. The doctor is surprised by the question and quietly tells her the man crashed into a traffic light minutes after crashing into the Valentine's car, instantly killing himself.

"OK," she says, a little dumbstruck, "My head hurts."

The doctor nods and moves to add morphine to her IV drip. Cat's father finally releases her, but he keeps a warm hand on the side of her face.

Cat feels herself start to slip into unconsciousness and Rubin kisses her cheek before complaining to her, as if she shares a similar annoyance, that Jade's hospital room is all the way on the other side of the hospital.

/

The next couple weeks come in flashes to Cat. She wakes in her white hospital room, usually in pain, before slipping back into rest. Whenever she opens her eyes Rubin is curled up next to her either sleeping or reading a book and her father is doing paper work on the small table beside her bed. Sometimes, Tori, Andre, Robbie, Rex, and Beck are in the room, not usually all at once, but it's always nice to see them before she's out again.

Every time she wakes she asks about Jade.

She's told Jade suffered a severe concussion, her head smashing into the passenger window upon impact and received similar injuries that Cat had, minus the broken wrist. The first few times Cat is awake long enough to comprehend Jade's injuries, she imagines Jade with a bloody face and neck, and she feels sick, immediately pushing her morphine button to alert the nurse.

When Cat starts to stay awake for hours at a time she asks to see Jade, but her doctor tells her that Jade nor her are ready to be moved, even for a visit.

Cat protests this every time, but can't for very long or her head starts to spin, spin, spin in pain. So she sends Rubin to deliver notes to Jade. Usually he returns with news that Jade was asleep when he arrived, but once or twice Jade writes back to Cat's simple questions of if she likes the hospital food or if she's encountered a certain mean nurse who snaps at Cat sometimes.

These little answers make her bite her lip in happiness and her heart monitor picks up, beeping fast, faster, fastest.

/

Rubin is staring at her when she wakes one Sunday afternoon.

"Hi," she croaks, swallowing around the dryness in her throat. She brings her arm up to ruffle his hair affectionately and he grabs her hand before it falls back down to her side.

"Can I paint your nails?" He asks, his brown eyes wide and expectant. She says yes and he immediately jumps off the bed to retrieve the paint from his back pack. Cat looks at her father as Rubin does so. The man is slumped over the hospital table, asleep in his paper work, a cup of Starbucks coffee and his cell phone near his head. He hasn't been able to stay at the hospital by her side during the week anymore because he's used up all his holiday days from work.

Rubin climbs back on the bed and Cat's attention is pulled to him. She smiles as he sets to work on her fingernails, colouring them a bright pink.

"Is dad ok?" Cat asks her brother quietly.

"I think he's a little sad," he replies, his voice high and clear. Cat thinks Rubin will have a wonderful singing voice one day. He goes on, tongue sticking out in concentration, "He cries sometimes when you sleep."

Cat frowns, her insides drooping sadly at this knowledge.

"It's cos mommy died in a car crash," Rubin says wisely, his eyes trained on Cat's hand, "When the doctors called to tell us you were in a crash, he had to call a cab. He didn't think he could drive to the hospital cos his hands were too shaky. And they were. I saw 'em."

Cat nods, feeling her eyes sting with tears. She swallows them down, not wanting Rubin to see her cry.

"I'm done this hand," he says, glancing up at her as he grabs her left hand, mindful of it's cast - another object Cat has let him colour all over. He doesn't hesitate to put his other hand on her forehead, pushing back her bangs and gaining eye contact. "It's ok. You didn't die. So it's ok."

She nods again, this time a few tears slipping through. She watches him apply the nail polish for a few minutes, taking deep breaths.

"You're getting a lot better at that," she compliments into the silence, holding up her hand when he finishes, taking in the sloppy paint job, "You'll be better than me soon."

He giggles at this and leans forward to give her a kiss on the cheek. "I painted Jade's nails, too. Yesterday when you were asleep. She was asleep too, so I don't know if she likes it or not," Rubin says, "They're pink too."

Cat laughs so loud at that she wakes her father.

/

A month into her hospital stay and Cat's sleeping is getting back to normal. She sleeps through the nights and takes a nap in the afternoons. She works to keep this constant for a week until asking again if she is finally able to visit Jade. Her doctor looks at his watch and tells her that it's too late for the day, but tomorrow she can visit after noon.

Cat is so excited, she can't fall asleep and then worries that her sleep schedule will be so off from the sleepless night that she won't see Jade, so she pounds the morphine button and a nurse rushes to administer it to her IV drip. As Cat starts to feel it's affects, the nurse touches her forehead and asks her where it hurts.

"My brain," is all she mutters before descending to sleep.

/

They wheel her into Jade's room at 1 o'clock the next day. It's as dark as Jade's actual bedroom and she think's it's just decorations before Jade's doctor quietly tells her it's because of the severity of Jade's concussion. She can't be in light too long or around loud noise for very long without being in pain. Cat thinks this sounds very similar to how Jade usually is, _without_ a concussion.

Jade is sleeping when she arrives, so Cat sits beside her and waits for her to wake. She looks at Jade and feels completely comfortable for the first time in weeks. Jade's glass cuts on her face and chest are all mostly healed, just like Cat's. Cat can see her roots growing in brown near her scalp around the bandages, and smirks when she thinks about how annoyed Jade must be at seeing them and not having access to dye.

Cat wonders, looking at Jade's face, if she herself looks peaceful when she sleeps. Because Jade certainly doesn't look peaceful now. Her eyebrows are pinched and she looks angry the whole time Cat sits there.

She doesn't get to talk to Jade. The girl doesn't wake up and Cat has to go back to her room for her afternoon nap.

/

Tori visits the next day. She fills Cat in on all the summer gossip she's heard over the first week back at school. She leaves out that the Car Crash was what everyone is really talking about, Cat can tell. When she asks what people have been saying about her and Jade the answer is a complete lie. Cat doesn't really mind, though. She was just curious. Curious Cat, her mom used to call her.

She's about to tell Tori she doesn't care that people are talking about the accident, when Jade appears in the doorway of the room. She's wrapped in a blanket and stands bare foot, her eyes squinting in the light, angry and irritated. She reaches over to the dimmer switch for the lights with the arm that isn't holding herself up with a crutch, and the lights go dull.

"Vega," she says, the usual sharpness in her voice, "Close the blinds."

Tori is too dumbfounded to argue, she does what Jade says, but stupidly stutters out, "Are you allowed to be here without a wheelchair?"

Jade waits in the doorway until the blinds are closed, the room darkened now, before she says flatly, "Fuck off, Vega."

Tori looks at Cat, but the redhead is too busy staring at Jade with wide eyes to take notice of the offended girl. Tori grabs her purse and heads towards the door, saying, "Cat, I'm waiting outside! Don't let her-"

Jade slams the door in her face and makes her way over to the bed, blanket dragging along the ground behind her and Cat's heart speeding up. She's glad she's not attached to the heart monitor anymore, it would be announcing the rate of Cat's heart with a stream of noisy beeps.

"_Are _you allowed to be here without a wheelchair?" Cat asks, then realizes, "Did you walk here without supervision? On your broken leg?"

Jade stops beside her bed where the redhead is sat up, her covers at her waist. Jade looks exhausted, dark circles under her eyes and her posture all slumped. She looks to be swaying slightly and Cat reaches out to steady her, but Jade grabs her first.

She clutches at Cat's face with both hands - her crutch clattering to the ground - bringing her lips to the redhead's in a long kiss.

Cat is so shocked that she doesn't respond even after the second kiss placed on her forehead and the third back on her lips.

Jade, panting from both the effort of standing and kissing Cat, says, "They told me I slept through your visit. Don't let me sleep through your visit again."

Cat just nods, her eyes starting to blink. She pulls Jade first onto the bed so she's no longer standing and then into her so she can kiss her back this time.

They're still kissing when Cat's doctor opens the door, an embarrassed Tori having gone to get him out of worry for what Jade might be doing or saying to Cat without her present.

Jade is escorted back to her room and Cat sits in silence with a dopey smile on her face for the rest of the day until she falls sound asleep, no morphine required.

* * *

**It's been a while. Sorry 'bout that. School started and such. Truth be told, I had had up until this point in the story already written when I posted the first chapter. I had spent times between updates editing and adding more to each chapter to round out the story. And now... I'm still trying to figure out what happens next. Hopefully I shall determine what it is soon! I've got a rough idea so worry not.**

**If you have a minute to review that would be cool of you. If you have less than a minute I will still accept reviews even if they're only a barbaric grunt of approval (or disapproval. Honestly, I just want your thoughts on the chapter, the characterization, etc. but no pressure).**


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